Deceased Mentors

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We all need mentors.  Mentors grant us access to their superior experience and wisdom.  But even they are limited to what they can teach you; they still have a lot of living to do, successes and failures to endure.

Just as we may have living mentors, why not have deceased mentors?

Some already do in the form of music.  A fan can recite every Bob Marley or Bob Dylan song on command and claim their music has had a significant impact on their life, their worldview.  But why not with other historical figures, and not through music, but through books?

Anything you are currently going through today, chances are someone has probably already endured and written about it.

We can all have our own deceased mentor.  Like Ryan Holiday has Montaigne, like Tim Ferriss has Seneca, or how Robert Greene has Napoleon Bonaparte.  Find your own deceased mentor; a historical icon that has always piqued your interest, that significantly influenced the world in a way that is important to you.  Learn and apply the lessons from their life to yours.

For every great historical icon there are several well written books about them.  Do your research.  Read all you can about them; their works, biographies, accomplishments and just as important, their failures.  Then read about the context they lived in.  It’s amazing how many similarities you can find with someone who is centuries removed from you.

Then finally, connect the dots.  Find a way on how you can apply the lessons your deceased mentor has taught you, and apply them to your own life, today.

You’ll catch yourself befriending your deceased mentor.  Building that connection.  You’ll start reading about their life, have a question pop into your mind, and then have it answered a few pages later.  You will go through your day to day routines, facing a problem or situation, and thinking what would ______ do?

Balance the time you invest with your living mentors with deceased mentors.  Buy the most popular or highest rated book on any historical icon you find interesting, read and take notes, and allow time for frequent pause and reflection.

After all, history often repeats itself.  Why not learn from the greatest mentors history has to offer?

Mine currently are Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca.  Who are yours?

 

goodfellas

How to Build an Invaluable Inner Circle

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One key goal I set for 2010 is to watch the words I use and harness the power they can have on myself and those I speak with.  Language is extremely powerful in how we perceive ourselves and connect with others.  Basically, the words you choose, consciously or subconsciously, determine your reputation, the influence you cast on others and the respect you receive.  Ultimately, the words you speak with can affect the quality and value of your overall network, both business and personal.

Here are two effective ways to help harness the power of words and using them to not just earn respect and have your thoughts valued, but much, much more.

Never Complain

The book “The Art of Worldy Wisdom” by Baltasar Gracian touches on one aspect of this;

#129 “Never complain.  Complaints will always discredit you.  Rather than compassion and consolation, they provoke passion and insolence, and encourage those who hear our complaints to behave like those we complain about.”

Reading this was like getting slapped in the face with a stamp that colors “GUILTY”.   I barely noticed it consciously before.  It’s even more of a trip to just keep tallies and count how many complaints you hear throughout the day.  Look at this way; when you are complaining or listening to someone complain, are they happy or pissed off?  Are they positive or negative?  Constructive or whiny?  Making actions or just excuses?  More important, would you want to hang out with, or do business, with these people?

Genuine Praise

Baltasar Gracian continues…

“It is better policy to praise the favors others have done for you, so as to win still more of them.  When you tell how those absent have favored you, you are asking those present to do the same, and pay in the same coin.  The prudent person should never publicize dishonor or slights, only the esteem others have shown him.  Thus he will have friends and halve his enemies.”

Wow.  I took the sandwich out of my mouth and repeated that again, just in case I misunderstood….When you tell how those absent have favored you, you are asking those present to do the same. This is how powerful the words you choose to speak with can influence those around you.

Think about it.  You are hanging out with someone who you looked up to, value their friendship tremendously, or highly respect.  Whenever they talk about someone who is not present, it is always focusing on praise or highlights a good quality that person has.  Whenever they talk about their friends, they have nothing but praise for them. Your thinking, “Damn!  This person surrounds himself with great people.”  Chances are, if you also want to form a mutually beneficial relationship with this person, you’ll step your game up and try to emulate the people they praise.

Genuine Praise (keyword is genuine) of people and friends when they are not present to others is an effective tool on so many levels.  You’ll be more positive.  It helps promote and refer your friends for opportunities, and you’ll be known as a great connector, which your friends will highly appreciate.  And ultimately, it helps set the standards for those who aspire to associate with you. This is a great stepping stone towards building an invaluable, mutual benefiting network of friends and bad-asses.

Why You Should Never Settle for Comfort

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“Any given moment, a man’s growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear.” – From the book, “The Way of the Superior Man”

People are comfortable today. Too comfortable.  Left and right I see people let their fears tame their lifestyle and give themselves in.  They accept to settle with the cards they are dealt in life, rather checking than strategically betting..  These are the people that do just “good enough”.

Or some people can’t handle being comfortable, to the point of pushing themself too much, pushing beyond their capacity.  These are the people that never check, but constantly bluff, overusing the cards they have. They think they’re being productive, but in reality their exhausting themselves with unnecessary stress, not enjoying the experience, the present.  There is a difference between being productive and busy, and these people are the ones that are “busy”.

David Deida puts it perfectly from his book;

“Most men either settle for the easy path or self-aggrandize themselves by taking the extreme hard path.”

And essentially….

“Both approaches avoid your actual condition in the moment, which is often fear.”

The fear that Deida is writing about is why most people will take these two routes.  The easy route because their fears inhibits them, downsizing their goals and dreams.  The extremely hard route usually because imbalance like that stems from insecurities that push them.

The goal is to find the sweet spot, the balance; leaning just beyond your edge, your fear.  This is where one can optimize their growth.  Here are the steps to reach this:

Discover your fear(s) and turn them into your friend

“Your fear is the sharpest definition of yourself.” – David Deida

Fear is what keeps you back from doing what you want to do.  You feel it daily.  Make it a goal to take note daily when you sense your fear. When you don’t do, or say, something you want to do.  Be completely honest with yourself and acknowledge your true fear.

Once you can identify this fear, make it your friend, not your enemy.  Use it like a gage that alerts you when you are encountering your edge.  Instead of backing out, acknowledge it, and use it as strength.  Continual practice of this will allow you to become comfortable with fear, look forward to pushing your edge, and essentially, allowing you to grow.

Take a risk and Challenge your limits

“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” – Paulo Coelho

Now that you have identified your fear, your edge, and made it your friend, challenge it.  This involves taking a risk, which is needed for growth.  The key is to not rush and push too deep. Take small steps.

I had a mentor that called this “Step closer, stay longer”.  He used the example of a kid being afraid of water.  The kid would feel uneasy just by looking at a pool, let alone stand near one.  This kid decided to challenge this fear.  He started out standing 20 feet from a pool for as long as he can, feeling his fear.  A day later, he would take a step closer, and stay longer.  Another day, another step, with a longer stay.  With each day passing, and him becoming more comfortable being near the pool, he no longer feared the water.  He continually pushed beyond his edge, his fear, and eventually broke free from it.

Do so with an open heart

Challenge your limits with an open heart.  This means, you push yourself into a state of unknowingness, uncertainty.  Take the risk by Pre-Accepting Failure.  You cannot predict the outcome.  Just trust yourself and your instincts.  This is where time seems to stop, and you are completely focused on the task, the challenge at hand.

If you are an athlete or play sports, this the same state of mind as “being in the zone”.  When I played high school basketball, I would enter this state frequently.  It’s the fourth quarter and the team is down by two points.  My team pushes up the floor with 18 seconds left. I catch a pass, pump fake a shot, dribble and attack the rim. I get fouled on the way up and earn two free throws.  10 seconds left.  As the visiting team, the home fans are yelling, stomping, anything to distract and intimidate me.  I can tie the game with two made free throws, and everyone in the gym knows that.  I take deep breaths and just soak everything in.  I recognized my fear, and use it as my friend instead of my enemy. I’m tired, mentally and physically, but this becomes my asset and gives me hope, optimism, faith.  I bounce the ball, focusing on my challenge at hand, and blocking out all distractions.  I would pre-accept failure and with an open heart. I trust myself and my skill. I become completely focused on the present, not the outcome, savoring the experience. I smile to myself and prepare to shoot.  The ball leaves my hand and the whole gym goes silent….

David Deida sums it up perfectly.  “Lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything you do.”  Truly own your fear(s) and challenge it.  Do this in every aspect of life and optimize your growth as a person.

Crisis or Opportunity?

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It seems to be that the word of the decade is ‘Crisis’.  You see it everywhere across all mediums of communication and media.  The ‘Economic Crisis’ is literally blasted dailly by CNN, Fox and NBC.  But the words you choose to speak and use are more powerful than you think…and the way crisis is viewed in other languages is often recognized in speeches from numerous presidents like Richard Nixon and John F. Kennedy….

“When written in Chinese, the word “crisis” is composed of two characters – one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.” – John F. Kennedy

Although there are arguments on  both sides about the exact translation of the Mandarin symbol, it’s still interesting to point out the truth to it.  Now is a time of crisis, or so the media portrays it.  Most of my peers in college right now, when thinking of the future, are fearful and worried.  Fearful of not finding job, paying off loans and debt, of surviving in the world.  In a lot of ways, this time we are in can seem dangerous. I think that people who are constantly getting bombarded with the word ‘Crisis’, and constantly looking at the future as negative and ‘dangerous’, are setting themselves up for failure.  Recognize what the Chinese noticed, and you can see that with the right mindset, you can turn any crisis, on a macro or micro level, into an opportunity.  Of course it will be dangerous, as every risk is.  But risk is necessary in tests and challenges, and essentially change.  For the better or for worse is up to you.

Like in the book, “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill wrote;

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.”

So….when you register any situation as dangerous, scary, or possible failure, stop for a moment.  Instead of automatically labeling the given situation as a problem or ‘crisis’, shift your mindset to thinking of it as an challenge or ‘opportunity’. In the book “The Way of the Superior Man“, by David Deida, the following sentence exemplifies this message; “Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration”.You will always be tested, every single day, in one way or another. It’s up to you how you  to approach those tests.  Either you can take them as a crisis, or an opportunity.  And I gurantee this; the more you approach these tests as opportunities, you will be enjoying many more celebrations.
My point is this; Change your mindset to viewing tests in life not as a crisis, but as an opportunity.  Start by shifting your mindset and carefully choosing the words you use.  You could be like the majority of the population and get sucked in ‘crisis mode’ and live a life based on your fears, or be the minority and enjoy these tests as opportunities.

Remember, according to the chinese symbol of crisis….

 

Crisis = Danger + Opportunity

The Listening Experiment

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TED is my new favorite website these days.  I was first introduced to TED through a local weekly meetup in Midtown Sacramento called TED Talk Tuedays….and this first talk affected me immediately.

There can be many lessons to be had in the 17 minute talk, but I came away with one idea  that I believe can be beneficial to anyone’s life if applied.

John Francis witnessed two oil tankers collide in the San Francisco Bay in 1971 which motivated him to not drive or ride in any motorized vehicle.  So he walked everywhere, literally.  Due to people questioning his actions, he constantly found becoming involved in arguments.  To avoid these disputes, he decided to try an experiment, and spend one day without talking.  He noticed a profound change in his lifestyle….

John found himself actually listening to people.  He realized that without talking, he would not think of what he was going to say next in response, and he could fully 100 percent listen to people.  He also realized that he was learning again, thanks to this new habit of fully listening.

Fast forward through the video and John’s teaching a class at the University of Montana, with absolutely no talking.  His class becomes one of the most popular classes on campus as it was virtually all discussion by the students.   These discusssions would start with just a gesture.  John observed that by just starting discussions with gestures and letting the students depict what he meant and discuss what they thought, he was learning more form his students then he had during his studies.  John came to the conclusion that….

“If you aren’t learning, you are probably not teaching very well…’

I wish I could experience this more often from my classes in college today.  I do have a few professors that understand this idea and successfully implement it in class.  I love those classes.  But there are a majority of professors that communicate dried out material from text or just communicate any random brain farts they have at the moment.   The big reason why John’s class was so successful was because of listening.

Such a simple concept but in reality, in today’s mediated world, is almost impossible for most people.

The speech is concluded with the following statement….

“We are the environment and how we treat each other is how we treat the environment.”

During the 17 years he was voluntarily silent, John realized that he treated people better.  He would fully listen with an open mind.  His mind was not busy formulating his next rebuttal or calculating his prejudices into his response.  His mind was clear and open.  And when your mind is comletely open, you tend to offer more respect, become more aware, and actually be ‘present’. Oh yeah, and actually learn.

We all have hundreds examples of people blowing us off while trying to communicate an idea or having the feeling of not being understood…..daily.  And most importantly, you are most likely exhibiting the same exact behavior to others.

Remember, people tend to mirror back the reality of who you are.  So control the one thing you can control in life; your actions.  And try this concept out for a day, like John did.  You dont have to completely not talk, but atleast listen 80% or 90%, and see if that affects your day to day experiences.  Before you are ready to pounce back with your pre calculated rebuttal, stop and ask why, explore their reasoning; Empty their tanks .  I gurantee you that one you exhaust their thoughts, they’ll be more open to yours.  You just might learn something that will affect your lifestyle too.

“The best revenge is to not be like that.”

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I pledged a fraternity last Fall semester and have experienced the “Greek Life” or the “Greek System” firsthand over the last year.  I love observing this culture and you can learn a lot just by stepping aside and spectating the interactions between people inside it.  While doing this though, I try to strip aside any ego and prejudices, and just see what everything is as it is.

One common and dominant theme I recognize in the Greek System is revenge.  It may not seem so obvious, but in a culture that is practically High School on steroids, its everywhere; sport competitions between fraternities, recruitment, relationships and parties, and even inside the brotherhood of fraternities.  *This is just one example that I have experience in, but really, revenge is everywhere.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in the Meditations in Book 6 the following about revenge;

“The best revenge is not to be like that.”

Revenge doesn’t help any cause.  It’s negative and can foster hatred, distrust, and negative rivalry between any person or organization.  Its not healthy competition.  A healthy rivalry has great competition that pushes each person or team to better oneself, continual progress and improvement, focusing on one’s own weaknesses and strengths.  Revenge requires one not to focus on self, but someone else, which is a total waste of energy and time.

Instead of worrying about someone else, or the planning “how I’m going to get back at them” approach, focus on yourself and your next actions.  “How am I going to get better personally” instead of “How am I going to beat them”.  Live your life for you, not for others.  People who focus on revenge do so because they think public opinion of them have been hit.  People who focus on revenge are self conscious of the thoughts of others, and lets that affect their actions, words, and overall happiness.  This leads to unhealthy actions and possible regret.

So to avoid focusing on revenge, stop worrying about what others are thinking.  Marcus Aurelius puts this nicely in Book 3;

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people – unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful…….. and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

Focusing on yourself, your own mind, will allow you to constantly move on, to improve and advance in life.  Invest your energies and resources on improving yourself and achieving your own goals, not those set by others, or what others think your goal should be (like getting revenge against your competitor).

The best way to accomplish is to live through action and intent.  Try this mindset for the next month;

“Live well.  It is the best revenge.”

You cant get ahead in life while your wasting time getting even.



Life Lessons from Fight Club

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“It’s only after you’ve lost everything,” Tyler says, “that you’re free to do anything.”

After reading Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk, I got slapped across the face by reality.  Over the last year or so I have been fucking up, or at least in the eyes of today’s society.  I got a Wet and Wreck-less (basically a DUI a few months shy of my 21st birthday), let my GPA go to shit, and have lost the trust of my parents.  I have messed up in the eyes of society by breaking the law, in the eyes of my parents by under achieving in academics, and in a sense, I have disappointed  myself, or at least in what I thought was right and wrong.

“It’s only after you’ve lost everything,” Tyler says, “that you’re free to do anything.”  In a weird sense now, I actually feel free to do anything, more so now than I did a year ago.  It seems my Dad has given up on me, so in a weird sense, I am free from those expectations I think he held for me.  Those expectations, as I have found, placed a lot of pressure on myself, not just from my father, but from society….with the norm being for a middle class teenager; get your diploma, go to college and get a degree, get a job, work 40 years and retire.  This is something I find myself becoming freaked out about more and more every year I get closer to real adulthood.

My point is this; I currently feel I have hit the lowest part in my life.  Yet, when I can’t sleep at night and living on canned tuna and top ramen, I am injected with the most supreme motivation and weird, high, thrill to go out there and make something out of life.  I feel mentally free and that I can start writing what I have to do on a blank piece of paper, started by myself personally, not sketched or outlined by somebody else.

This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time.

I turned 21 earlier this year and it freaked me out.  “Damn, so in a couple years I should be graduating with a degree and starting a career and maybe marrying a girl and…..” I kept flooding my mind with this bullshit.  I was being sculpted into “just another guy”, an average man created by a system.

Why am I investing 4+ years of my youth on a degree that may not even help me do what I essentially want to do (like getting the same degree as thousands of others my age, fighting for same job market that decreases in size each year due to numerous factors, like globalizition).  I’m not saying a degree will not help me for the future, but I may be able to better utilize those years on something more relevant to what I essentially want to do.

Every minute my life is ending.  I should be spending each minute I have on activites that help me lead the life I want to live.  Sure I maybe be advocating “living in the present”, which is encouraged, but of course you have to supplement that with “planning for the future” and even “reflecting on the past”.  The important thing is though is to do balance all of these with one goal: do so towards the life you want for yourself, not limited to or discouraged by the norms of society.

Don’t live the life deffered plan (working 40 years, then “enjoying life in retirement), as Tim Ferriss puts it in The Four Hour Work Week.  Live the life and you want, and take the neccessary steps towards doing so.

Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer…. Maybe self-destruction is the answer.


I originally thought this quote was crazy, but after thinking about it, it made sense yet still slightly crazy.  People today seem to focus on self improvement, moving forward, starting new habits, etc.  But it seems totally ineffective when you don’t fix the original problem.  Why try to improve a negative habit instead of destroying it, and starting off with a clean plate?

We all have emotional baggage that we accumulate through our lives.  Its up to you to confront that baggage, and begin to throw it out.  Not by self improvement, or like building a bigger closet to hide more emotional baggage.  Go straight to the core, your inner self, and find that emotional baggage and do your best to dump it. (most of this is fear that ultimately rules people’s lives, their decisions, and ultimately the lifestyle they choose to live, even if it isn’t necessary what they ultimately want or dream of)..

So….

These three quotes have definitely hit me with an unexplainable force.  I view life as more of a contrarian now.  While in the eyes of most (society, my parents, etc) I have been fucking my life over the last year.  Instead, I view it as a opportunity to free myself and be able to do the things I want to experience in this life, free of expectations, pressure, and comparision.

This is what I intend to focus on starting today with this blog.

A Secret to Enjoying Any Situation Fearlessly

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I’ve learned an awesome philosophy from one of my mentors recently. If practiced daily, it can allow you to enjoy any activity or situation you come across in life without the burden of fear, or any negative feeling and emotion; embarrassment, regret, etc. It’s especially perfect for those situations that you have always wanted to experience, but in the end, your fear wins you over and you go home.

It’s called Pre-Acceptance of Failure. It’s simple yet extremely effective if used correctly. Before you attempt to do anything, and it could be anything (playing a game or sport, approaching someone), allow yourself to pre-accept failure; acknowledge the fact that you might lose, might get rejected, basically fail. When you realize and accept this, you know you might fail, the fear of outcome is no longer a burden. The fear of outcome will not drive you nuts, make you not concentrate, make you mess up and choke. Instead, you can completely concentrate and simply do the best you can do, be the best you can be.

When you let go the fear of outcome; not knowing what might happen, you are free to just do your best. Result does not matter to you, the destination is pointless to you. What simply matters now is the experience, the journey. You always hear “Its the journey, not the destination” for a reason, and this is why.

So once you have given up your fear of outcome, the next and final step is to remove doubt. Sure you have now eliminated your fear of outcome, but you might find yourself doubting your skills, whatever. You have to remove doubt, and replace it with commitment. Picture fear as a break, and doubt holds you back. You eliminated the break, so whats left is either doubt or commitment. Commitment is complete absence of fear. So after you have eliminated the fear of outcome, all you have to next is go into whatever situation you go into with full commitment. The commitment of “I’ll do the best I can, win or lose(success or fail). Its the journey, not the destination.”

I have personally been practicing this daily. You could use this philosophy for situations basically every minute. You find yourself competing in a sport, wanting to approach a person; stranger, friend or family.

I found myself playing basketball with friends, and the fear of losing really catches up to me, and usually affects my game for the best or the worse. If I lose, I am pissed. But I’ll tell you what. When you forget about the result, pre-accept you might fail; your let loose from any fear of outcome, and you can just fucking have fun and actually enjoy the experience, win or lose. Its an amazing feeling.

Finaly do the thing you have always wanted to do. Let your boss know how you feel, approach a distant friend, any situation that you have stopped yourself from doing because of your fear of the outcome. It’s a blast and ultimate high when you can enjoy an activity with absolutely no fear – we’ve all been there. Imagine doing it everday though. I encourage you to try out the Pre-Acceptance of Failure, and let me know how it goes for you.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

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Worrying about other people seems to be a common theme I notice, among myself, men and women, young and old, that rules people’s thoughts and essentially their minds. Its everywhere; gossip magazines about the lifestyles of the rich and famous, the constant slandering of those who make mistakes, and the envy of those who triumph. It’s damn irritating and mentally disgusting for me to observe this, and even worse, when I catch myself doing it every day.

In book three of Meditations, Marcus Aurelius states it best.

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people – unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful.”

Marcus Aurelius continues on about how constantly worrying and thinking about how others are living their lives keeps you from actually living your own, essentially “..keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

If you want reach whatever potential, or limit, of productivity and efficiency in anything you want in your life; be it career, relationships, yourself…then ditch the habit of wasting any more mental RAM on things that are random, irrelevant, and negative.

It’s hard as hell to control your thoughts, I know that. It takes effort. Consistent effort. Here are some ways to help you stop worrying about others (this doesnt mean “not caring for others”. Simply stop worrying about others, and focus on yourself), and ultimately focus on you.

  • Meditation – Do what suits you, doesn’t have to be meditation. You could pray, anything that allows you Meditative Isolation (check out Ryan Holiday’s post). Meditation is nice, because you try to think about nothing, draining everything out. You stop worrying, and instead you observe your thoughts.
  • Control what you can – Remind yourself the only things you have full control over is your thoughts, and what you give (how your react, etc). You can’t control other people and what they do. Even more reason to focus on what you can control in life – You.
  • Sweat it out – Go for a run, work out, play some ball with friends. I personal find that doing healthy activites that keep you fit physically will also benefit you just as much mentally.
  • Write – I will always promote keeping a journal or notebook handy to express yourself in. Writing does wonders, and allows you to focus on you and really grow as an individual. Do this routinely.

It’s probably the hardest thing to do in life – controlling your thoughts. But “nothing is easy, and who wants nothing?”. Stop worrying about others (unless its for common good) and focus on yourself. Stop worrying about past or future, control what you can – the present. Dont Worry, Be Happy.

Why Gen Y Should Have a Gym Membership (or work there!)

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For the past three years I have worked part-time at a private gym, or as tennis players call it, a club. At first, being the oblivious teenage kid I was, I only looked at the gym and my job as a paycheck that covered gas, food, and party essentials.

I started reading, writing, and graduated high school. I have grown up, and finally, realized exactly how much I have benefited from working and being involved with a gym. I have made very rewarding friendships, gained experience in interpersonal communication, gained mentors, and for the most part, stayed relatively healthy and fit.

If you could get part-time job at a gym, preferably night shifts, you surround yourself with healthy and motivated people, free membership, and usually ample time for homework, reading, and other projects. I’m not just going to preach why you should work at a gym part-time, but also highlight the huge benefits of utilizing a gym to the max.

  • Obviously living a healthy and positive lifestyle: For whatever you want to accomplish in life, it makes sense to first put yourself in the right environment related to you what you want to accomplish. If I want to relax and read a book, I will put myself in the right environment. To become more healthy and exercise, a gym is the environment that will motivate you to work out.
  • One thousand one....Social Interaction with positive people: This is huge. Sure you can curl and do push ups at home (or office) by yourself…but there is something unique about working out at a gym. You could call it social interaction. As long as you find the right gym to suit your specific needs, you’ll no doubt meet interesting people. Also, with two people at a gym, you automatically share something in common, which makes it hundreds times easier to start conversation.
  • Place of solitude: If your pissed off and have had a shitty day, or if you got into an argument with someone you live with, you just want to get out. A gym is perfect for these instances. Hitting the weights, playing a sport, running or biking, whatever it is, serves as perhaps the most healthy and positive outlet to lose those negative thoughts and escape. Most gyms has jacuzzi’s, saunas, or steam rooms. Whether your wanna work out the stress or relax and forget your troubles, a gym is easily the best destination.
  • Learn something new, and learn more about yourself: Depending on what type of gym you have membership with, they can offer classes to learn yoga, aerobics, dancing, tennis, basketball, the list goes on. I have learn to play racquetball (an awesome sport for rainy days) and I plan to take some Tia Chi classes here soon. Besides learning new activities, hobbies, or sports, you overall learn more about yourself. You learn more about your commitment, your body, your relationships, and how do deal with stress. Perhaps not too many people notice, but working out at a gym is also a form of meditative isolation. People have told me they do their best thinking at the gym. You learn something new physically, but also mentally.

My big point is; Generation Y should strongly consider joining a private gym. Some say its too expensive, or can find more affordable alternatives. But I look at it with opportunity cost. The friendships I have made, and seen others made as well, BY FAR, are worth more than they had paid for the membership. You will live a healthier lifestyle. You can gain new hobbies. You will have an awesome outlet to release daily stress. If you take full advantage of what gyms could offer, the last thing you should think about is the monthly membership rates.

Or you can try and work part-time at one, and get that free membership!