Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Worrying about other people seems to be a common theme I notice, among myself, men and women, young and old, that rules people’s thoughts and essentially their minds. Its everywhere; gossip magazines about the lifestyles of the rich and famous, the constant slandering of those who make mistakes, and the envy of those who triumph. It’s damn irritating and mentally disgusting for me to observe this, and even worse, when I catch myself doing it every day.
In book three of Meditations, Marcus Aurelius states it best.
“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people - unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful.”
Marcus Aurelius continues on about how constantly worrying and thinking about how others are living their lives keeps you from actually living your own, essentially “..keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
If you want reach whatever potential, or limit, of productivity and efficiency in anything you want in your life; be it career, relationships, yourself…then ditch the habit of wasting any more mental RAM on things that are random, irrelevant, and negative.
It’s hard as hell to control your thoughts, I know that. It takes effort. Consistent effort. Here are some ways to help you stop worrying about others (this doesnt mean “not caring for others”. Simply stop worrying about others, and focus on yourself), and ultimately focus on you.
- Meditation - Do what suits you, doesn’t have to be meditation. You could pray, anything that allows you Meditative Isolation (check out Ryan Holiday’s post). Meditation is nice, because you try to think about nothing, draining everything out. You stop worrying, and instead you observe your thoughts.
- Control what you can - Remind yourself the only things you have full control over is your thoughts, and what you give (how your react, etc). You can’t control other people and what they do. Even more reason to focus on what you can control in life - You.
- Sweat it out - Go for a run, work out, play some ball with friends. I personal find that doing healthy activites that keep you fit physically will also benefit you just as much mentally.
- Write - I will always promote keeping a journal or notebook handy to express yourself in. Writing does wonders, and allows you to focus on you and really grow as an individual. Do this routinely.
It’s probably the hardest thing to do in life - controlling your thoughts. But “nothing is easy, and who wants nothing?”. Stop worrying about others (unless its for common good) and focus on yourself. Stop worrying about past or future, control what you can - the present. Dont Worry, Be Happy.
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Hello
I'm currently a full time student at Sacramento State University, where I'm studying Journalism and Communications. At 2o years old, I frequently face the question of what I want to do in my life. This blog serves as a platform for myself to write and explore about Personal Development, Lifestyle Design, Interpersonal Communication, and anything random that interests me. I enjoy watching basketball and real football (soccer). I'm also a racquetball enthusiast.
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Ronnie,
Excellent, excellent post… one that more and more people should consider.
Some time ago, Ryan posted the following, and I find it rather appropriate to your post:
“When you let external factors validate your
happiness, you lose the sovereignty of self.”
Taking this whole topic a step further, I suppose even let Nicholas Taleb’s commentary would fit:
“Stress should be irregular and ferocious – early men did not have bad bosses, but they did occasionally run into lions.”
The present isn’t always perfect, but you can do a lot to handle yourself - your health, your mind, your attitude — and be that much more prepared to deal with the occasional bump in the road.