Ronnie Nurss

A few weeks ago, I read an interesting post by Joseph Kelly on the phrase; “We are our Experiences”. Joseph’s post definitely made me search for the true meaning on that phrase. As Joseph recognized and stated, people often accept things the way they are, or make excuses for things that happen to them, by believing “thats just the way I am” or based on their past they are the way they are today and cannot change that.

Agreeing with Joseph that our past experiences may influence they way we perceive, judge, and view the present, but we also have the power to choose the next experiences. We still have the choice to choose a different path or make a different decision against the trends of our past.

Its too easy for an obese guy to settle for the Big Mac instead of trying out a salad, simply because he can make the pathetic claim that thats just they way he is, has always eaten that way, and can’t change. Our past experiences do make us what we are today, but that never means you have to settle for that.

So my concluding thought is; Although we may be our past experiences, we have the choice to create the next experiences.

Taking Macro and Micro this semester, plus a personal finance class, I have been formally introduced to Opportunity Cost = the highest valued alternative that must be given up to engage or do an activity. For instance, if I decide to buy new shoes ($65) over a nice dress shirt on sale ($25), the opportunity cost of buying the shoes would be a nice dress shirt and $35 in my pocket.

With a focus on economics this semester, I start to recognize the concepts and ideas everywhere in everyday life. Opportunity cost is a big obvious one. We all face scarcity with every decision, besides maybe breathing air, since air is an  unlimited resource, at least for now. So every decision we make, we are giving up or missing out on other opportunities. We all use opportunity cost sub consciously, but if we actually thought about the true opportunity cost of our everyday decisions, I think we would make more efficient decisions.

The main point is this; really try and acknowledge opportunity cost in your everyday real life decisions, and I believe you would all choose the more efficient and beneficial decision relative towards our goals and aspirations. Just don’t use opportunity cost for financial decisions, but for other aspects of life, like relationships and health. Did you ever think of the opportunity cost of hanging out with the same person or crowd, when you could split the time and meet new people or join an organization or club? If you were a business major, would you rather volunteer for an internship or work part time at job that may not cultivate the skills relative to your major or goals? Before choosing to take an unnecessary nap over studying, or choosing a weekend getaway over saving money, analyze the real opportunity cost of each decision.

Applying the concept of opportunity cost to my every day decisions will encourage me to make more efficient and beneficial decisions relative to my goals and aspirations. What do you think? Do you agree?

I need to recognize that every person is superior to me in some way, whether its knowledge of a particular subject, or level of a particular skill. I can learn and connect to a great potential source of knowledge with each person that walks past me, sits next to me in class, or that I BS with whenever.

I realize that I do love and enjoy listening to other peoples’ thoughts and opinions on life and the world. I love hearing stories and encounters from friends and strangers. Yet, I find myself not taking advantage of these opportunities that arise. I need to remember that every person is an opportunity. So next time you meet anyone new, or meet with someone you already know, seize the moment, and listen and learn whatever you can from everyone.

I am currently reading the book, Never Eat Alone, by Keith Ferrazzi, which was recommended to me by Joshua Saunders. I believe this book is a must read for any student looking to establish rewarding and successful relationships for their careers, life, etc. One chapter is about building your network before you need it. Constantly create the environment and life you want for yourself!

In the past, I told myself I will look for a job when I need one - bullshit. I now realize that its not what you know, but who you know. Sure what you know might be sufficient, but to reach the levels and places I want to reach, I have realized the importance of know some people that can help you along the way.

Point is, build your network, your team, mentors now, so when you do need something, like a job, a connection, a lead, you are ready and prepared, instead of scrambling and getting behind. Make and establish relationships with people you think can help you now, and grow that relationship, build trust, and then when the time is right, you will have help to achieve what you want.

Get to know people and potential clients as friends first. People like to do business with their friends, people they can trust and know about, not necessarily strangers. Another tip from the book is to work for these people for free, or volunteer, because eventually you’ll get noticed and these people will know your work, your value, etc. Classic example is internships. Its not a coincidence that interns eventually get hired, or have a much better chance to get the job. The people know them, have seen their work, and they know their value.

Volunteer, join organizations and clubs relative to what you are seeking. Enroll in classes, attend seminars, put yourself in the environment you want for yourself. The Law of Probability states that the more new people you meet, the more opportunities that come up.

Build your network now, before you need it! Dont wait for the life or opportunity to come to you, go out there and make it yourself. It will come a lot more naturally, and when will you will need it, you’ll have it built.

For those addicted to their iPod like me, you must check out the iTunes U section inside the iTunes Store. You have access to thousands of interviews, lectures, and speeches from colleges and universities all over the country; from Stanford and Berkeley to Duke and Yale. You can download from all subjects too, whether it be Business and Entrepreneurship, History, or Psychology. These are full and jam packed of information too, with hour and half lectures and even videos.

Personally, I love to download these lectures and sync it to my iPod, and its listen to them whenever, especially while I try to fall asleep. If you get a little bored of your current classes at school, or just enjoy listening to lectures on interesting topics, check out iTunes U.

Now that we have turned a potential conflict meltdown into a positive argument and discussion, its time to incorporate a few tricks to get your intended message across successfully.

Now that you have the person comfortable with you and not in defensive mode, it is safe to start progressing towards recommending your opinions and suggestions, and ultimately influencing the person.  Using the tricks in the previous post, the person is now open minded and able to comprehend whatever you say with respect. 

If the your goal is to point out a flaw or a mistake the person made, begin with praise and sincere appreciation.  Also, remember to ask before giving your opinion!  Too many times people just jump straight to criticism, often unwanted criticism.  People are more open to suggestions and criticism when they are prepared for it, as well as being in a comfortable and appropriate setting.  Establish your  confidence and appreciation for the person, and then ask to offer your suggestions.

A trick I try to practice daily is one I found from Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends & Inlfuence People.  It is amazing of the power words have in discussion, particularly in arguments.  One simple tip is replacing a word like “but” with “and”.  Here is an example:

“You are a great basketball player, and if you practice your left hand, you would be even greater.”

This sounds much more pleasing and positive than this:

“You are a great basketball player, but if you practice your left hand, you would be even greater.”

“And” flows and sounds alot more pleasing and effective than “but”.  Use your words wisely, and strategically use or replace words to enhance your intended message.

I have found from personal experience that when you admit or tell the person of a mistake you have made in the past, it sets up an appropiate manner for you to suggest your opinioin or recommendation as opposed to just saying it.  This allows the person to feel and relate to you, like being on the same level, knowing what that person is experiencing.  Admitting a mistake shows you too are imperfect and gives you credentials to be able to analyze the situation and talk about it, having the backing ofpersonal experience.  I will no doubt take the advice from someone who has been there before, as opposed to someone who hasnt. 

 With the few tricks mentioned here, you can begin to really communicate your intended message across effectively and successfully, and have influence on the person.  Hopefully after these 3 steps, you can look forward to arguments and hopefully grow the relationship, and as a person, by handling arguments effectively.