“Any given moment, a man’s growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear.” – From the book, “The Way of the Superior Man”

People are comfortable today. Too comfortable.  Left and right I see people let their fears tame their lifestyle and give themselves in.  They accept to settle with the cards they are dealt in life, rather checking than strategically betting..  These are the people that do just “good enough”.

Or some people can’t handle being comfortable, to the point of pushing themself too much, pushing beyond their capacity.  These are the people that never check, but constantly bluff, overusing the cards they have. They think they’re being productive, but in reality their exhausting themselves with unnecessary stress, not enjoying the experience, the present.  There is a difference between being productive and busy, and these people are the ones that are “busy”.

David Deida puts it perfectly from his book;

“Most men either settle for the easy path or self-aggrandize themselves by taking the extreme hard path.”

And essentially….

“Both approaches avoid your actual condition in the moment, which is often fear.”

The fear that Deida is writing about is why most people will take these two routes.  The easy route because their fears inhibits them, downsizing their goals and dreams.  The extremely hard route usually because imbalance like that stems from insecurities that push them.

The goal is to find the sweet spot, the balance; leaning just beyond your edge, your fear.  This is where one can optimize their growth.  Here are the steps to reach this:

Discover your fear(s) and turn them into your friend

“Your fear is the sharpest definition of yourself.” – David Deida

Fear is what keeps you back from doing what you want to do.  You feel it daily.  Make it a goal to take note daily when you sense your fear. When you don’t do, or say, something you want to do.  Be completely honest with yourself and acknowledge your true fear.

Once you can identify this fear, make it your friend, not your enemy.  Use it like a gage that alerts you when you are encountering your edge.  Instead of backing out, acknowledge it, and use it as strength.  Continual practice of this will allow you to become comfortable with fear, look forward to pushing your edge, and essentially, allowing you to grow.

Take a risk and Challenge your limits

“You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” – Paulo Coelho

Now that you have identified your fear, your edge, and made it your friend, challenge it.  This involves taking a risk, which is needed for growth.  The key is to not rush and push too deep. Take small steps.

I had a mentor that called this “Step closer, stay longer”.  He used the example of a kid being afraid of water.  The kid would feel uneasy just by looking at a pool, let alone stand near one.  This kid decided to challenge this fear.  He started out standing 20 feet from a pool for as long as he can, feeling his fear.  A day later, he would take a step closer, and stay longer.  Another day, another step, with a longer stay.  With each day passing, and him becoming more comfortable being near the pool, he no longer feared the water.  He continually pushed beyond his edge, his fear, and eventually broke free from it.

Do so with an open heart

Challenge your limits with an open heart.  This means, you push yourself into a state of unknowingness, uncertainty.  Take the risk by Pre-Accepting Failure.  You cannot predict the outcome.  Just trust yourself and your instincts.  This is where time seems to stop, and you are completely focused on the task, the challenge at hand.

If you are an athlete or play sports, this the same state of mind as “being in the zone”.  When I played high school basketball, I would enter this state frequently.  It’s the fourth quarter and the team is down by two points.  My team pushes up the floor with 18 seconds left. I catch a pass, pump fake a shot, dribble and attack the rim. I get fouled on the way up and earn two free throws.  10 seconds left.  As the visiting team, the home fans are yelling, stomping, anything to distract and intimidate me.  I can tie the game with two made free throws, and everyone in the gym knows that.  I take deep breaths and just soak everything in.  I recognized my fear, and use it as my friend instead of my enemy. I’m tired, mentally and physically, but this becomes my asset and gives me hope, optimism, faith.  I bounce the ball, focusing on my challenge at hand, and blocking out all distractions.  I would pre-accept failure and with an open heart. I trust myself and my skill. I become completely focused on the present, not the outcome, savoring the experience. I smile to myself and prepare to shoot.  The ball leaves my hand and the whole gym goes silent….

David Deida sums it up perfectly.  “Lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything you do.”  Truly own your fear(s) and challenge it.  Do this in every aspect of life and optimize your growth as a person.

Flow is something I try to attain and work on every day. Flow is also referred to as “On the money” and “In a groove”. According to the definition on Wikipedia, Flow is a mental state of operation where you are fully immersed in whatever you are doing. The best example that comes to mind is sports. The best, most clear, and exhilarating moments of flow I have had in my life was during my high school basketball career. Besides sports, I have also felt it in engaging conversations, school projects, writing my thoughts, and even driving.

The father of Flow, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, lists the components of flow and also tips on how groups could flow together here.

When I think of flow, I think of passion, drive, purpose, and love. To really enjoy life to the fullest and savour the moment sort of speak, always try to find your flow, your groove in whatever it you set out to do in life. Be it your job, relationships, your home and hobbies, if you have trouble trying to find flow with it, chances are you probably could be happier doing something else. Every successful person of their trade has mastered the art of flow, from Kobe and Tiger to Mark Cuban. They find something they love to do, and excel at it.

In any situation you put yourself in in life, ask yourself the crucial and deep question: “Got Flow?”

I’m going to connect a couple posts from 2 great writers together about the rising and viable need for solitude in today’s information packed world. Ryan Holiday wrote a post about the need to demand and take time for yourself to have meditative isolation. Glenn recently commented on this particular post, and added this great thought:

So with these two great thoughts from two great writers, I will attempt to add my own spin on this. After reading “The World is Flat“, and realizing the the playing field of the world is flattening, with jobs and business (globalization) and now information, which means that everyone anywhere can be competition. For anybody to achieve great success in today’s world, having the ability to recognize the viable need for solitude is paramount. Its not who has information or knowledge, but what you can do with it, requiring innovation and imagination. You have to take solitude and really think, grasp, and learn the information you consume. Like Glenn greatly put, ” How can we, collectively, continue to prosume when we hardly have the chance to comprehend what we consume?”

To compete and succeed in the ever growing competitive world, you must take time for solitude to effectively learn and cultivate imagination and innovation with whatever information you get your hands on.

Read an interesting article from the Harvard Business Review courtesy of my college. Focusing on trends on the business horizon, international travel is expected to double, from 800 million international visits in 2008 to 1.6 billion visits in the year 2020. Looking at the economics of this trend, there can be only so many people that can visit museums or enjoy a beach. The demand for traveling to popular destinations will create a scarcity of place, according to the article.

The article gives 3 probable market responses: First, as demand will skyrocket past supply, tourism relate costs will rise dramatically, from hotel rooms in world cities to even taxis and airplane availability. There will soon be scalpers not just for sporting events and concerts, but soon for airline tickets and passes to museums or parks. Government will also control demand by putting taxes on travel to destinations. One example is the Galapagos Islands of Ecuador, as more and more people coming to visit, the trend is impacting the ecosystem, which is leading to talks of raising parks entrance fee or restricting visitors, which leads to second…. Wait lists.

Expect to be on wait list for months, even years, before you can travel to popular destinations. With these wait lists forming, leading to number three, you can expect the creation of new destinations, more like replications of the wait listed places. For example, China is currently developing islands like Macao to rival Hawaii. You see it here in America, with casinos popping up in major cities, or the Indian casinos here in California, drawing business away from Las Vegas.

As scarcity of popular travel destinations around the world grows, there will be tons of opportunity to profit from the ever growing demand. I found this particular trend very interesting, and I am going to try and discover trends similar to world travel in the future. For instance, like the summer Olympics in Beijing this summer, I am going to look at investment opportunities in South Africa for preparation of World Cup 2010, perhaps the biggest sporting event in the world.

Any opportunities that you recognize or can think of with this trend in mind?

I spent some time today in the periodic room in college, and found out that they offer the Harvard Business Review for students to read, with some issues dating back to 2000. I grabbed an issue with emphasis on Leadership. I then read the article “Where Will We Find Tomorrow’s Leader?”, an interview with Linda A. Hill. Linda Hill, a professor at Harvard Business School, argues that tomorrow’s leaders are going to be more collaborative and open to sharing power with employees. I remember reading specifically about a belief of “Employee first, customer second”. Mentor and allow employees to cultivate their skills and face challenges with freedom and risk, to allow them offer the best service to the customer.

The biggest thing I got from the article was a quote that Nelson Mandela is famous for on leadership:

What I got from the article was that tomorrow’s great leaders must be able to bring the best out of their employees, mentor and allow them the freedom to take on projects with the risk of failing. Leaders must be able to collaborate with everyone, and allow employees to lead the way, while he simply orchestrates from behind.

I am currently reading the book, Never Eat Alone, by Keith Ferrazzi, which was recommended to me by Joshua Saunders. I believe this book is a must read for any student looking to establish rewarding and successful relationships for their careers, life, etc. One chapter is about building your network before you need it. Constantly create the environment and life you want for yourself!

In the past, I told myself I will look for a job when I need one – bullshit. I now realize that its not what you know, but who you know. Sure what you know might be sufficient, but to reach the levels and places I want to reach, I have realized the importance of know some people that can help you along the way.

Point is, build your network, your team, mentors now, so when you do need something, like a job, a connection, a lead, you are ready and prepared, instead of scrambling and getting behind. Make and establish relationships with people you think can help you now, and grow that relationship, build trust, and then when the time is right, you will have help to achieve what you want.

Get to know people and potential clients as friends first. People like to do business with their friends, people they can trust and know about, not necessarily strangers. Another tip from the book is to work for these people for free, or volunteer, because eventually you’ll get noticed and these people will know your work, your value, etc. Classic example is internships. Its not a coincidence that interns eventually get hired, or have a much better chance to get the job. The people know them, have seen their work, and they know their value.

Volunteer, join organizations and clubs relative to what you are seeking. Enroll in classes, attend seminars, put yourself in the environment you want for yourself. The Law of Probability states that the more new people you meet, the more opportunities that come up.

Build your network now, before you need it! Dont wait for the life or opportunity to come to you, go out there and make it yourself. It will come a lot more naturally, and when will you will need it, you’ll have it built.