I pledged a fraternity last Fall semester and have experienced the “Greek Life” or the “Greek System” firsthand over the last year.  I love observing this culture and you can learn a lot just by stepping aside and spectating the interactions between people inside it.  While doing this though, I try to strip aside any ego and prejudices, and just see what everything is as it is.

One common and dominant theme I recognize in the Greek System is revenge.  It may not seem so obvious, but in a culture that is practically High School on steroids, its everywhere; sport competitions between fraternities, recruitment, relationships and parties, and even inside the brotherhood of fraternities.  *This is just one example that I have experience in, but really, revenge is everywhere.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in the Meditations in Book 6 the following about revenge;

“The best revenge is not to be like that.”

Revenge doesn’t help any cause.  It’s negative and can foster hatred, distrust, and negative rivalry between any person or organization.  Its not healthy competition.  A healthy rivalry has great competition that pushes each person or team to better oneself, continual progress and improvement, focusing on one’s own weaknesses and strengths.  Revenge requires one not to focus on self, but someone else, which is a total waste of energy and time.

Instead of worrying about someone else, or the planning “how I’m going to get back at them” approach, focus on yourself and your next actions.  “How am I going to get better personally” instead of “How am I going to beat them”.  Live your life for you, not for others.  People who focus on revenge do so because they think public opinion of them have been hit.  People who focus on revenge are self conscious of the thoughts of others, and lets that affect their actions, words, and overall happiness.  This leads to unhealthy actions and possible regret.

So to avoid focusing on revenge, stop worrying about what others are thinking.  Marcus Aurelius puts this nicely in Book 3;

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people – unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful…….. and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

Focusing on yourself, your own mind, will allow you to constantly move on, to improve and advance in life.  Invest your energies and resources on improving yourself and achieving your own goals, not those set by others, or what others think your goal should be (like getting revenge against your competitor).

The best way to accomplish is to live through action and intent.  Try this mindset for the next month;

“Live well.  It is the best revenge.”

You cant get ahead in life while your wasting time getting even.

Finals are finished and the summer has already snuck up on me. After seriously take deep relaxation and catching up on sleep lost during finals week, its time to evaluate what I want to do this summer. I normally coast through summer with no defined goals and things to accomplish.

Sure everyone has the basics; like saving money, travel and to leave with memorable and fun times, maybe complete summer school. For many college students, the summer can be the perfect launch pad for the near future. With a surplus of free time, summer goals can help position yourself to reach and accomplish your big long term goals for the next couple years . I plan to use this summer to experiment in practicing lifestyle design, along with goals to making a better, newer, stronger version of myself. So here are a few of my goals to accomplish this summer….in no particular order.

• Build solid relationships with new people, and enhance present relationships
• Meditate 15 minutes each morning
• Thoroughly read and study 1 book a week – expand my library
• Find an ideal apartment/condo downtown or in midtown, near Sac State
• Experience Yosemite
• Watch David Beckham and the LA Galaxy play live
• Continue building my website
• Maintain work out regimen, 3 times a week
• Learn to play the acoustic guitar
• Practice and improve my Spanish
• Revamp and restart the Financial Fraternity
• Get published in a newspaper and magazine
• Find more mentors and meet new influential people
• Start savings for my 2010 South Africa trip for the World Cup
• Attend 3 seminars

Definitely take the time, preferably with a good friend or a goal buddy, and map out clearly defined goals to accomplish this summer. Goals do not have to be serious and all business; make goals to have fun and experience enjoyable times with good people. Become a better, faster, stronger version of yourself by making goals to have a kick-ass summer.

I will be posting my progress of certain goals throughout the summer. Chances are, I will be constantly adding more goals to the list as during my summer encounters.