I pledged a fraternity last Fall semester and have experienced the “Greek Life” or the “Greek System” firsthand over the last year.  I love observing this culture and you can learn a lot just by stepping aside and spectating the interactions between people inside it.  While doing this though, I try to strip aside any ego and prejudices, and just see what everything is as it is.

One common and dominant theme I recognize in the Greek System is revenge.  It may not seem so obvious, but in a culture that is practically High School on steroids, its everywhere; sport competitions between fraternities, recruitment, relationships and parties, and even inside the brotherhood of fraternities.  *This is just one example that I have experience in, but really, revenge is everywhere.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in the Meditations in Book 6 the following about revenge;

“The best revenge is not to be like that.”

Revenge doesn’t help any cause.  It’s negative and can foster hatred, distrust, and negative rivalry between any person or organization.  Its not healthy competition.  A healthy rivalry has great competition that pushes each person or team to better oneself, continual progress and improvement, focusing on one’s own weaknesses and strengths.  Revenge requires one not to focus on self, but someone else, which is a total waste of energy and time.

Instead of worrying about someone else, or the planning “how I’m going to get back at them” approach, focus on yourself and your next actions.  “How am I going to get better personally” instead of “How am I going to beat them”.  Live your life for you, not for others.  People who focus on revenge do so because they think public opinion of them have been hit.  People who focus on revenge are self conscious of the thoughts of others, and lets that affect their actions, words, and overall happiness.  This leads to unhealthy actions and possible regret.

So to avoid focusing on revenge, stop worrying about what others are thinking.  Marcus Aurelius puts this nicely in Book 3;

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people – unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful…….. and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

Focusing on yourself, your own mind, will allow you to constantly move on, to improve and advance in life.  Invest your energies and resources on improving yourself and achieving your own goals, not those set by others, or what others think your goal should be (like getting revenge against your competitor).

The best way to accomplish is to live through action and intent.  Try this mindset for the next month;

“Live well.  It is the best revenge.”

You cant get ahead in life while your wasting time getting even.